Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
