I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
