They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
