she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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