Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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