Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
