If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This house was built for laser tag.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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