nut hugger
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
