He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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