i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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