he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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