I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
