i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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