So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
