I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
