You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
