Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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