he shaved USA in his pubs
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
