Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
