Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize