You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
