I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
