I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
