God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
