we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
