I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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