College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
