I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
