im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Found your dick twin last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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