I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
