Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
