After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
