my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
