Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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