she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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