I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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