idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
