the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
