I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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