And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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