Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
