i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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