Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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