We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
