no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
