One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
