so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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