Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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