Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
