Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I smell stomach acid.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
