marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My cat gives me a boner
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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