the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
