Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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