In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
