spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
