oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
