so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
