i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just cut my nipple shaving
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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