I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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